Dear...i am very stupid but i want you to know too i am

Dear...

can i still call you that...

i still call you that way in my heart...

when you sent me that message through msn...

i am really fell out of my mind

i thought i could move on...

but i just couldn't let you go to be true

during the time...

i really trying hard to...forget you

but i admit that i lost to myself...

i still love you d....

when together with you...

i am very happy and do not wish that moment to stop

before that i keep on saying i'm ok, never mind, busy first.........

i was ok with that because last few times you still will reply my message right

but then you were busy with your exam

i am surely very ok with that cuz exam is important

i did a mistake

that is i didn't express all of my feelings to you before

i should have told you how i felt

but i just don't want this bothers you dear

some more mistakes were reached...

i shouldn't tell you how i felt when in the exam period and rushed for the answer

that moment you were really really stress

my action was on the wrong timing and really really annoys you out

i am really sorry for that...

.

.

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when i saw your blog that about 'ti liang'

and i might not be the one who can understand you

i was pretty down and wanna cry already to be true

but i really really need you...

i thought i could move on

but i just can't let you go

not easily or hardly

i really do not want to lose you

.

.

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when every time i saw you online

i could not feel myself in good

the most saddest part is...

when you finally put your status into single...

i was crying in my heart and i am very sad about it

i missed the moment of our smses

phone talk with you was my best gift from you

when your mom took the phone

i thought we still could communicate with internet

i really really wanna talk with you face to fce one dear

remember when you said that we need to do the homework

then i suggested to write it in our blogs

i said that i always think about you

and you told me not

but still i just couldn't stop that

you were my angel...more than that, and now still it is

when i posted the msn chat with eugene said that i was waiting the message...the sorry one

i felt regret after it

i always tell myself not to regret anything that i've done/chose

but i would regret even i got the chance to reach to heaven rather letting you go dear

i am hoping to get the chance to be together with you again dear

i really hopes that i can date you out dear

but they got a lot of hinders around

this time...i really don't mind waiting for my second chance

. .

one thing that bothers me just now

i didn't online for the whole day as i was working

i didn't know what happened

but jeremy said something that irrationally

he said that you put your msn pm as boys are liars

i really dunno why he would be that childish that go and fight back as he said he is a man

i help him to say sorry to you

he said something stupid

when i got the news i was pretty down with it as his action was irrational

please don't mind that

if i got something that said in here are offending you, sorry for it dear

i dunno how to write a good letter or a story

about jeremy

he was really childish and likes to fight anything and proves his right

.

.

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dear

i do really want to be together with you forever

right before you're my gf dear

i wasn't sure that am i got the right one

and one thing i learn from a girl

'when you promised a thing, you must keep it that way'

i always think about that phrase to remind me not to do anything stupid

even in a relationship that i did not dare to use the word of 'forever'

could you remember that i said i love you forever?

that was deeply from my heart

i never do that to any girls

and do you remember i got a gf before you that she is a singh?

the reason i chose to give up of her is because of you

i couldn't tell what is the physical reason but i only know that i feel very comfortable with you...dear

and you might think that i would be giving up you too when my feels would change again

but i know that...i never think about other girls of forever before but for you

i wanna make you the most happy women in the world dear

i do not wish to see you unhappy

mr. sai mun said,

when they said no, means no...doesn't matter what reason they're giving

i do trust his word...but i could not just let you go easily by this meaning

i have faith dear

i dunno why i am acting very stupidish and i know if this fails

my eyes will be tearing...of not together with you

when you removed my photo in your blog

i was very upset and why do i always be that guy

logically that i should let you go...

but i just won't let you go out of my heart

when you told me that you confront with your mom just for me

i was very touched by it even thou your mom said no...

no one ever stands for me for a long time...

you wasn't asking your mom of after spm you wanna have a relationship

you were asking to be together with me

i never felt that love before

i know you loved me...but do you still love me now?

letting you go is like losing my soul

yes i still have friends that love me too

but i cannot throw away of a true loving me girl that stands for me just to showing my bad emotions

when i was going for my driving lesson class

i remember that i promised that you're my first passenger

no matter what promised is a promised

remember the time that we used to call each other soh lou soh poh...

and during one night

i called you lao poh

i dunno why i did that...

right before this, i thought using lao poh lao gong things are very stupid and childish...

but when i called it

i really felt that we were very very close and i was feeling your heartbeat

i never had that feeling before

even my first gf...i never had that

even now i called it i can feel myself of you

from that moment, i never wanted to let you go from my heart

i really wanna hug you now as i don't want to let you go

i want to be together with you forever

if i know how to drive...i would risk myself without licence just to get closer with you

last time, i did not do anything to safe my relationships

and even this...as my mistakes i've made

i am going for a full thrust that i will safe it

this doesn't mean that i am making a longest relationship status record or other stupid things

i do not take the relationship as a game

so

i am showing you that i love you and i do not want you to be other guy's gf

i want you to be my lao poh that i love and take care of you

talk doesn't proves anything, action will do

if only you could give me a chance

people said high expectation brings high disappointment

.

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and also one thing that i regret of i did not do

after the ir-nite

when on the bed

i was very regret that i missed the chance of saying i love you dear

.

i am looking forward of you can come out with me dear

my physical telling me that you would reject this

but dunno why i just kept on going for it

losing you dear, my soh poh, my lao poh is my most lost of my life

you're my everything dear

a lot told me that i should have let you go and move on

but i just won't do that

i know that i sounds like irrational now

but i do wish for that i could be together with you forever...

i love you lao poh...please do give me a chance

i am not doing it for anyone, i am doing it for us dear...